can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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