put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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