I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
