How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
