got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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