I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
