so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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