We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
