Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
