He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
