ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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