i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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