We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
