Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize