whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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