Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
