It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
