I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
