We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
