It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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