Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
