So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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