Welp...herpes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
