Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
