I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
