He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
