Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
time to smoke my breakfast
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
