dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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