Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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