fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
