So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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