haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
