Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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