i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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