you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I cut my penus on the lid.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize