The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
porn star boner night. come get it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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