and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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