we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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