I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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