Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
