actually, I'm a sock model
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
