why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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