I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
