I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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