I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
