She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
