Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
