That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
