it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
