just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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