Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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