now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
