i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I am naked and annoyed.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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