I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
