just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
