So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
